Just Like Always
by montez
Summary: Rick's thoughts when he couldn't find Kate after opening up the back of the van. spoiler to L.A. episode.


Just Like Always  
By: Montez  
Disclaimer: Don't own nothing, really.

_A/N: This my thoughts of what Castle was thinking between the time he and Seeger opened the back of the van and they found Kate and Ganz under the boardwalk. Of course spoiler for the L.A. episode if you haven't seen. Hope you enjoy my 'missing scene/thoughts'.-Montez_

"Where's Beckett?" Castle turned around, expecting the detective to be right there. He had seen her hand off the driver of the van to a uniform as he and Detective Seeger opened the back of the van finding the stolen 'dissolving' ammunition.

They hadn't seen Ganz as they neared the van, but both Beckett and he knew the murder/black market arms dealer would be nearby to make sure his sale went down without any problems.

Rick turned around, scanning the crowd for his 'partner'. A knot started to form in the pit of his stomach when he didn't see the brunette anywhere in sight. "Kate!" he called out, getting Seeger's attention as the man directed his officer in what to do with the evidence.

"Where'd she go?" the officer asked Castle as he continued to scan the crowd that had formed, making his way further from the van.

"I don't know? If she saw Ganz…" Rick knew exactly what Kate would do if she saw Ganz in the area, she would not let the killer of the man she cared so much about just walk away if she could stop it. Then another terrible thought crossed his mind, one that made his blood turn to ice for the fact he had lost sight of her, what if Ganz had grabbed her? That thought propelled Castle into a jog as he worked his way further into the bystanders that were watching the police activity.

He didn't know what direction they could have gone, he just knew he had to find her; the words she had said in New York filled his mind again. When he had asked her if she really wanted to see Royce like that, if she wanted her last memory of him to be his body in an alley, she had looked at Castle and asked him, 'What if were me? Would you walk away?'

It was a fear he carried around daily since he had realized he had fallen so completely for her, the fear that he would get that phone call and it would be her, or that he would be a second too late to protect her and would have to watch her fall in the line of duty. He knew he had kept her from getting shot many times, more than he cared to think about, but it was because he couldn't stand the thought of seeing her lifeless body laying on the ground, he knew it would be a loss he might not recover from.

Castle heard Seeger call to a couple uniforms to follow as the L.A. cop radioed both Kate's and Ganz's descriptions over the radio as they followed the writer in his desperate search for Beckett. In the distance, near the edge of the pier Rick noticed people looking over the railing, pointing and talking animatedly, he knew in an instant that it had been that direction they had gone, either by Kate giving chase or being drug unwillingly along.

His speed picked up to a dead run, officer's feet pounding behind his on the wooden boardwalk. He was still several yards from the railing when the muffled sound of a gun-shot was heard over the noise of the crowd and surf. Rick actually stopped a second, as did Seeger; they looked around but didn't see any panic in the crowd that normally surrounds a shooting. "Under the boardwalk?" Castle asked. Seeger nodded as they covered the distance to the railing.

Rick's heart was pounding so hard, not only from the run, but the fear that once they got underneath the walkway his worst nightmare would be realized, that Ganz had gotten the drop on Kate and it would be her body he found in the sand. Without thinking Castle jumped over the railing, dropping the eight feet to the beach, Seeger and his officers doing the same. "KATE!" he shouted as he saw a lone figure standing over another in the sand. It actually took his mind a moment to realize it was Beckett standing over a fallen Ganz.

He was relieved to see her there, alive, but another terrible thought filled his mind, she hadn't turned at his calling, nor made any attempt to handcuff the suspect. For a moment he thought she was actually going to shot that man who had killed Royce. Rick knew she wanted to catch her friend's killer, but he also knew a part of her would want the revenge that would come from killing the man just as he had done Royce. Rick prayed she had the strength to not pull that trigger, he knew it would not only possibly destroy her career as a cop, but destroy her as a person. Yes, at the moment, it would feel like justice, but Rick knew her well enough to know it would eat her alive if she killed the man out of pure revenge and if Castle knew anything of the way Royce may have felt for Beckett, the former cop and bounty hunter would not want his protégé to live with that guilt.

As Castle, Seeger and the other officer's covered that last several feet of sand that separated them all, Castle heard Kate's hard, clear voice, "Ganz's you're under arrest for the murder of Michael Royce." With that, Kate turned around, putting her gun in the back of her jeans and walked away.

With a quick glance at Seeger, Castle turned to follow Beckett. "You okay?"

It took her a moment to answer; her eye's locking with his only a fraction of that time. But in the space of those micro-seconds, Rick knew she wasn't okay, even as "Yes" was her answer. Rick knew Kate would grieve; she would miss the loss of such an important person in her life, even if that relationship had ended badly. He hadn't been lying to her the night before when he told her she amazed him at the depth of her strength, of her heart. He knew she cared deeply, even more deeply than maybe she even realized and that is what drove her to be the best detective she could be, to be the best person he had ever meet. He knew she would try to be strong as she grieved her loss, but he knew she would break at some point and he promised himself that he would be there for her, however she needed him to be, but he would be there-just like always.


End file.
